Election 2008 | The Latest Poop

Man’s Testicle Reveals Image of Automaker

MESA, AZ — A local crossing guard claims a perfect image of GM chief executive Rick Wagoner has appeared on his left testicle.  “I was masturbating last Friday, which I always do sitting on top of a hand mirror,” said Jordan Borman, 33.  “The coolness of the mirror glass feels good on my balls and [...]

Featured Whiff

• mar · riage (mar' ij) n. Union between a man and the woman he will eventually leave for his younger, more attractive mistress.  SEE: JOHN MCCAIN. #
  
  
• com·pas·sion·ate con·ser·va·tive n. Expression used to make right-wing lawmakers and their heartless policies seem a lot nicer. USAGE: "The compassionate conservative voted against medical care for the homeless." #
  
  
• in-tel-li-gent de-sign (in-tel-i-juhnt di-zahyn) n. Term invented to trick school districts into teaching creationism. USAGE: "The universe was created by Intelligent Design. Republicans, not so much." #
  
  
• ac-tiv-ist judge (ak' tiv ist juj) n. the doctrine that anytime a court's ruling is contrary to one's own opinion, the justice shall be referred to as an "activist judge." USAGE: "The order for the Senator to stay 300 feet away from elementary schools was given by an activist judge." #